March is my favourite month. The weather starts to turn, the doldrums of winter are left behind, and then, quite randomly, people seem to give me presents in pity of my increasing age somewhere around the middle of the month. So, given how much I chuffing love March, I thought it might be nice to share my joy with all of you, dear readers.
So, for the whole month, I am lowering the price of ALL THREE of my books to 99p, or 99c if you’re living under a fascist state. That’s right — Blood on the Motorway is only 99p on ebook. Sleepwalk City is only 99p on ebook. Welcome to Discovery Park is only… you get the idea.
Of course, the main reason I’m doing this has nothing to do with altruism, or benevolence. What I’m really trying to do is ape the adage of the manager of the budget superstore I used to work at — ‘Pile that shit high, and sell that shit cheap,’ he said to me, his beard full of crumbs of stolen chocolate from his own confectionary stand. What I’m really trying to do is to get some bums on seats, and people hooked on the deliciously addictive tales of apocalypse and musical woe that I am pedalling.
So, if you’ve yet to sample the apocalyptic horror of Blood on the Motorway, why not give it a punt? If you’ve not got round to picking up its sequel, Sleepwalk City, why not grab yourself a bargain? If you’re not sure if you want to read the musical odyssey contained within Welcome To Discovery Park, well it’s not going to break the bank to give it a whirl. In fact, you could pick up all three books for about the price of a really bad coffee from a chain coffee shop. I can guarantee it will taste a lot better.
If you’ve already picked up one or more of these books, and you enjoyed the shit out of it (because, why wouldn’t you?), could I please ask you to do me a favour? Shout about this sale to the rafters to your friends, your family, your priest… Maybe not your priest. Share this on Facebook and Twitter, start a rabid cult to my works, or just whisper it to your cat, if that’s the best you can do. It would really help me out. Well, maybe not the cat thing.
But, why should you pick up these books, even if the price is LUDICROUSLY cheap? Well, here’s some nice things people have said about the books.
Blood on the Motorway
“Great read – the end of the world AND a sadistic mass murderer – what more could anyone want? Starts with a bang and keeps the tension ratcheting up right to the end.” – Amazon UK Review
“A totally compelling story. Lots of twists, turns and cliffhangers. With a mixture of likeable characters and some you really wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley. A recommended read. ” — Amazon UK Review
The final few chapters made my jaw drop – definitely wanted to yell at my kindle. Totally worth a read, especially if you love post-apocalyptic fiction as much as I do.” — Amazon UK Review
“I am not a great fan of the apocalypse (it seems all too imminent at the moment) but this one certainly gripped me. It has characters you can root for, and plenty of action. A cracking good read. I look forward to the next instalment.” — Amazon UK Review
Welcome to Discovery Park
“I devoured this book with a mixture of glee and pity, in addition to genuine concern over the mental health and life choices of the author. It has however been an excellent read. I feel the author took a bullet for everyone, so we don’t have to be tempted to do such an act of self harm. Instead of myself getting annoyed at Rolling Stone, Paul has allowed me to laugh at the ludicrous nature of this list and I applaud him for not rage quitting as I may have done. Buy this book!” – Amazon UK Review
So, what are you waiting for? Get buying. Buy into the madness. Cheers, all. And happy March to all of you.