So we’ve covered my loss of a kindle and gaining of a bath. Back to losing stuff today, but intentionally. I’m back on the dieting horse again, by which I don’t mean that I’ve taken up heroin as a means to achieve weight loss. That might be my next recourse, however, should my current attempt fail.
I’m getting married next year, which is obviously a very good thing, but I’m very aware that should I stand in a tuxedo at my current weight, I’ll look less like a groom and more like a performing circus be. So I’m starting early on the attempt to shed a few pounds. I’ve got a year and a half, and ideally I’d like to look like I’ve been chiselled out of marble by Michelangelo by the time the wedding rolls around. At the very least I’d like to look sharp in my suit.

I’ve been down this road before. The very first time I made a properly sustained effort at losing weight, I did pretty well. Over six months I managed to transform from the sort of person you see from the neck down on obesity news reports to someone vaguely approaching slenderness, but then I blew it all by eating all of the food. It was like getting fat again was my reward for getting thin.

Since then there have been a few attempts, but my heart has never really been in it. I’d love to lose weight, but somehow the desire has never managed to overcome my fondness for eating all the food. It doesn’t help that the office block that I work in is attached to one of the largest chocolate factories in the country. I come to work every day in a building that smells of freshly baked brownies, which isn’t great when chocolate is basically your dieting Achilles heel. I have a mouth full of sweet teeth and from where I sit I can generally access free chocolate with the barest minimum of effort. You can see why it’s a challenge.

But I’m back on the horse. I’m not following any particular diet or regime, aside from the good old fashioned ‘don’t eat as much and do some exercise fattie’ regime. I’m calorie counting thanks to the marvellous free app that you can get on them there smartphones, and we’ve got a strider machine to work on.

I really hope it takes this time. I’m a week in now and it’s going pretty well so far, with the weight already starting to shift, in that way it can do in the first few weeks. Hopefully by the time the wedding comes round I’ll be like that statue.

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