Cold Hard Cash

As I have struggled over the last year or so to fund this foray into publishing upon which I am so gleefully embarking, I’ve considered a number of ways to monetize the endeavor. I have looked at things like Kickstarter, GoFundMe, Patreon, and any number of other filthy lucre generating ideas. I've rejected all of them.

The problem is, I’m English. To my very core. As someone who spent his twenties cadging money from friends to spend in pubs and on other questionable life decisions, I now have a fairly heavily ingrained aversion to asking for money. Couple that with my English reticence to put out the begging jar, and none of the above methods really float my boat. Also, I never bother donating to other people who do this (I have children, and as such no longer believe in the concept of disposable income), so why would anyone do it for me?

Then I thought about affiliate marketing, and thought, well, shit, why not? For those of you unfamiliar with the term, stores like Amazon (I know, boo hiss, etc) give commission to people who send customers to them. A lot of authors will make the links to their books affiliate links, to gain a fraction more commission. It costs the customer nothing, so in a way, it’s a bit like sticking it to the man. At least, that’s how I choose to look at it.

The great thing about Amazon’s particular system, if that once you’ve sent someone to them, you get commission on everything they buy for the next day or so. It’s not a huge amount, when you’re selling a book, but if that person then goes on to buy a yacht (I don’t think you can buy yachts from Amazon) then, hey presto, you’re quids in.

So I’ve been trying to think of some products I might be able to hawk here on the blog, inconspicuous like, as an excuse to shoehorn in some affiliate links. There are blogs out there that do this really well, without selling out, by writing informative and interesting articles about stuff, then linking to them. It’s nifty idea.

I am, however, properly shit at it.

So, here’s my new plan. I’m just going to give you my affiliate link. I’ll put it on the site somewhere where you can see it, and if you feel like supporting a starving (really not starving) artist (that’s possibly dubious too) then next time you’re going to buy something from Amazon, click on the link, and I’ll get some commission. Here, I’ve already thought of some options for you. Remember, I'm not asking you to buy these for me, no. These are presents to buy yourself. Because you're WORTH IT.

Perhaps you'd like to buy yourself a Bosch Professional GSH27VC 29Kg 110V Demolition Hammer Electric Breaker? I mean, that road outside isn't going to dig itself up, is it?

Or maybe you’d like a Foster 75kg Controlled Thaw Cabinet CT75, because sometimes those beers are just too cold!

And who wouldn’t want a SMP Community fire resistant bulletproof high security safe? You can keep all your collectible Pokemon cards RIGHT INSIDE!

So there you go, my begging cup is out.

*rattles cup*

Cheers.

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